God Forgives Racist Principal But Refuses to Forgive “Devil” Whom She Blamed For Her Remarks

12 May


HEAVEN – Recently, at a high school commencement in Georgia, Nancy Gordeuk, a principal was caught on video making racially charged remarks, and then later issued an apology, blaming the devil for what she said.

She went on to reassure those upset by the events that transpired that God has forgiven her and that they should do likewise. When reached for comment, Yahweh issued a statement saying He did forgive her and that she was now, once again, in His good graces and that it was indeed Beelzebub which caused her to stumble. Said the Lord, “Yep. I totally forgave her. As for Satan, he and I have a history. I still haven’t forgiven him for the time he baited me into letting him off Job’s 10 kids. He’s a trickster. Sure, when he rebelled against me and tried to overthrow Heaven, I let 1/3 of my angels follow him. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But I have a strict policy I adhere to. I forgive people. But former angels is where I draw the line. Don’t get me wrong, I forgave Dahmer and now he’s up here with us, which is kinda fucked up if you think about it. But I try not to overanalyze things.”

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