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Ted Cruz Episode of Scare Tactics to Air Longest Episode on Record Because He Won’t Admit He’s Scared

11 Jan

Ted Cruz Episode of Scare Tactics to Air Longest Episode on Record Because He Won't Admit He's Scared

WASHINGTON – Ted Cruz thinks he’s tough. He says he doesn’t scare easily. His resolve and stubbornness was put to the test in the latest episode of Scare Tactics on the SyFy network.

The show put together a more than willing group of food stamp recipients and invaded his home at one in the morning, demanding he sponsor a bill to raise the minimum wage and when most people would be their most terrified, they asked him what they ask everyone at this point, “Are you scared?” His answer was, “No.” By this time, he had already peed his pants and was shaking out of sheer terror.

They persisted. His answer was a quivering, stammering, “N-nope. N-not one b-b-bit.” This dialogue went on in a verbal standoff with the down and out low wage earners and the Texas Senator while he elaborated on why he was not utterly terrified and lasted for approximately three hours.

Due to the nature of the episode and because they had such a high-profile name on the show, the episode will be aired in continuity and in full this next Thursday on the SyFy Network.

I guess even when it comes to admitting he’s scared, he just has a thing for filibusters.

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