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Celebration!, A New Brand of Erectile Dysfunction Pill’s Marketing Methods Found to be Ineffective

19 Apr

Celebration!, A New Brand of Erectile Dysfunction Pill’s Marketing Methods Found to be Ineffective

A brand, spankin’ new miracle drug that promises strong, lasting erections has dwindling reported sales. The drug entitled Celebration! due to the fact that they consider you getting a new lease on life worthy of celebration to the point that when you order, they announce your new ability to get a hard-on to your immediate neighbors with a mailer indicating the man ordering the pill’s name and address, hoping to reach new clients, is ineffective on sales. Said the President of Celebration!, “Apparently men like privacy about this kind of thing and really don’t want their neighbors to know about their sex life. Now, we have realized most men prefer discretion, but we’re optimistic about our new mail-order pharmaceutical for women, Oh God!, a lotion that heightens sensitivity and we plan to use the same method of marketing we tried with the men. What? You’re looking at me like this is a bad idea.”

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