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Theologians Discover Actual Meaning of “Helper” Status of Women in the Bible

15 Apr

Theologians Discover Actual Meaning of “Helper” Status of Women in the Bible

JERUSALEM – New parchments were discovered recently more precisely articulating the true meaning of the title, “helper” given to women in the Bible in relation to men. Bart Ehrman, the James A. Gray Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, elaborates, “It’s not what Biblical scholars and theologians have thought at all. It doesn’t mean ‘helper’ in the sense of ‘It’s Shake and Bake and I helped.’ The term means more along the lines of if someone hired Tony Robbins or Dr. Phil to ‘help’ them in life, or if you will, as a personal trainer ‘helps’ people get in shape. It means literally ‘expert.’ Turns out god realized that man, after creating him, didn’t know what the fuck he was doing and created a superior being that did know what to do in order to make sure the man didn’t screw up.” The rest of that nonsense about submission and subjugation is also bullshit according to the new parchment. Will this change how women are viewed and treated by the Abrahamic religions? Only time will tell. Only time will tell.

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